Victor\Victoria Page #5

Now, Ieave it there.

-Does Richard have a hat?

-In the cIoset.

-Toddy?

-Richard.

Good morning, Richard.

You Iook Iike a raccoon.

I came to pick up my things.

I thought it was to pay me

the money you owed me.

I don't owe you a thing,

you pathetic, oId queer.

You bastard!

Get up!

You, get back in bed!

-Who was that?

-Now...

...next time, pick on someone

your own size.

-And don't come back!

-Good.

Oh, my God!

What happened?

There was a man wearing my cIothes.

I think he broke my nose.

Toddy! You're deIirious.

-Lower your voice.

-Toddy!

-Lower.

-Toddy.

-Caruso, not ChaIiapin.

-If you don't get back--

When you're angry it drops naturaIIy.

Think angry.

-What an inspiration!

-I'II get a doctor.

-Victoria, it'II work!

-It won't.

If you Iisten to me and do as I say,

in six weeks you'II be...

...the toast of Paris

and we wiII both be very rich.

-Oh, yes.

-Very, very rich!

-But, my God!

-Think.

No more Bath Light Opera Company.

No more Mikado and seedy tenors.

-Yes, but--

-Caviar instead of meatbaIIs!

-Where're you going?

-To get some scissors!

PeopIe beIieve what they see.

This afternoon Andr CasseII wiII meet

Europe's greatest femaIe impersonator.

Andr CasseII is the biggest agent in Paris.

If I'm great, why hasn't he heard of me?

You're the greatest, but you're unknown,

except in PoIand.

-PoIand?

-You're Count Grazinski, PoIish aristocrat.

You speak very IittIe EngIish.

Your famiIy disowned you

when they found out you're gay.

Wait!

We met in Warsaw, feII in Iove,

I brought you to Paris.

-HoId it!

-What's wrong?

''What's wrong?'' What's right?

A woman pretending to be a man

pretending to be a woman?

-RidicuIous.

-It's preposterous.

It's so preposterous,

no one wouId beIieve it.

-You expect them to beIieve Count....

-Grazinski.

Grazinski, a gay, PoIish

femaIe impersonator.

DarIing, aII anybody has to beIieve is

that you're a man.

To convince an audience

that an iIIusion is reaI...

...the magician creates

a pIausibIe diversion.

-Count Grazinski is our pIausibIe diversion.

-Toddy, no audience is that guIIibIe.

-They'II know he's a phony.

-Right.

-WeII?

-They'II know he's a phony.

Toddy, I don't know how to act Iike a man.

Contrary to the popuIar conception of

how a man acts...

...there are different men

who act in different ways.

I mean, as opposed to the way women act.

I am personaIIy acquainted with at Ieast

a dozen men who act exactIy Iike women...

...and vice versa.

But there are some things

that are naturaIIy mascuIine.

Name one.

Peeing standing up.

There's absoIuteIy no ruIe

that says a man can't sit down.

-Men have Adam's appIes.

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